MÈRE INSPO - lily chew
says, “Show yourself some grace as a mother, because when you can show grace to yourself, you'll have the capacity to show grace to others.”
Balancing Education Business and Motherhood: A Conversation with Lily Chew, Entrepreneur, Educator and a Mother of 4
The atmosphere was filled with a gentle drizzle as we arrived at Lily's place.
Stepping inside, we were greeted by a cozy and inviting home. Lily Chew, the Founder of Lil' but Mighty, an English Tuition Center, and a Director of Curriculum for primary and secondary students, warmly welcomed us.
With three boys aged 9, 7, and 5, and now a fourth boy at just 2 months old, Lily has gracefully embraced the roles of an educator, business owner, and mother.
We were eager to dive deep into her experiences and discover how she successfully manages these various responsibilities.
How does Lily manage as an entrepreneur, educator, and mother of four boys?
1. Congratulations on your new bundle of joy! So, tell me, what is your current state of mind?
Survival mode. I'm definitely enjoying the moment. Having a baby after 5 years certainly brings back a lot of joy. When we realized that we were pregnant and even as James was about to be born, I did have a bit of anxiety because I wasn't sure how I would be able to manage work and the dynamics with the boys, especially considering they are much older than James.
But I think things are playing out well, and we are thankful for everything. Tired, yes, but I think we are doing okay, and we are enjoying the moment and James as well.
2. What was your birth experience like?
It was painful. It was a natural birth, and we did not use epidural. It was a deliberate choice because we wanted to surrender the whole process to God. Since I could do that with the first three, I felt that we could do it with James as well. The birth experience was slightly different because I turned 37 this year. The last time I gave birth, I was 33. This time around, I was induced because the placenta aged a little bit earlier, and the water level was low. I felt that the pain level was a longer stretch compared to the other three and I'm glad it's over.
Lily was wearing Ellie Cruz Nursing Camisole.
3. What's the best part of having all boys?
I'm the queen of the household, haha!
The boys are really sweet. When people talk about boys, they often think about high energy and how boys can be rascals sometimes. But the truth is, it has a lot to do with each child's personality and the values we share at home.
We emphasize important values and help them focus on them, which has helped the boys to be grounded. I think our boys are very sweet. So, as much as they have high energy and like running around the house in circles, I also receive lots of love messages from them and get hugs and kisses. Having boys is fun, and I'm happy with my boys.
4. Being a mother of all boys, have you ever wondered what it's like to have a girl in the mix?
Yes, definitely.
If we have a girl, it'll be a different experience for sure, and the dynamics will be very different as we already have three boys. But each child's personality is different, so I don't think gender itself will be the biggest factor. James's personality is also different from the other boys, so I'm sure there will be its own set of challenges with him as well. But with that, there will also be more surprises and joyful moments that we will experience uniquely with James.
5. How has your breastfeeding journey been so far?
It's the fourth time I'm going through this breastfeeding journey, and it has been different each time.
The first time was tough because it was my first experience with breastfeeding. I had a lot of questions. Even now, with the fourth time, I still have many questions and I'm still learning new things from other mothers. It has been an enriching journey that continues to help me learn and adapt. It's about finding the groove and rhythm that matches each child I'm breastfeeding because they are all different, with different appetites and reactions after drinking.
There have been challenges, such as dealing with mastitis even though I've been pumping. Another challenge has been the transition back to work and ensuring an adequate milk supply.
I've also come to terms with the fact that if I don't have enough breastmilk for my child, it's okay to give them formula milk. Ultimately, what matters most is that the child is fed and growing. Breastfeeding has its benefits, but I don't believe it's a must for every child. Different decisions are made for different reasons, and mothers should know that as long as they're doing their best, their baby will be taken care of.
Lily was wearing Chloe Dream Love Organic Bra.
6. Why did you create Lil' but Mighty?
We had this conversation even before we got married. We were certain that we wanted to create something and be able to work together. We didn't want to be just partners in parenting our children, but we also wanted to continue to be partners in other areas as much as we can.
The business came about because of my passion. As an educator, I enjoy teaching and creating curriculum, and I feel that by engaging with children, it benefits them.
My husband was previously an auditor, and he could see how he could help with the business and work together to grow it. So, technically, the business is like our baby.
We started the business one year after our eldest was born in 2015. That's when we really began.
As business owners, we have the flexibility to prioritize and be with our children, and that's why we decided to create Lil' but Mighty.
7. What is it like working with your husband on a business?
I think it is an intimate process.
There are definitely lots of challenges and expectations. At the start of the business, we had more disagreements, but over the years, as we worked together, we gained a better understanding of each other's working styles. We also learned to manage expectations and communicate with each other. Clear communication can help avoid potential disagreements or moments of tension.
I'm thankful that I get to work with him because I enjoy spending time with my husband from the moment we wake up until we go to bed. We attend meetings together most of the time. It's not realistic to say that we agree with every single decision and see eye to eye on every discussion, but ultimately, we both want the best for the business and for each other because it impacts our family. And when I say family, I mean not only our immediate family but also our family at work, including our teachers and admins. We want to make the best decisions possible, and that helps us come together and determine what's best.
8. Being an educator, has this role impacted how you teach your kids?
It has influenced my expectations for my children in this world.
Having seen many parents and children go through the system, I believe that the attitude, mentality, and perspective towards learning are more important than the results themselves.
I do push them in terms of their handwriting when it's not very tidy because it reflects their attitude. More than the results, I care about how well they're doing and that they're doing their best.
So, I always tell them that as long as they're doing their best, I'm fine with the outcome. Even if they're not doing well and need help, they can let me know, and I'll be happy to assist them. I don't have high expectations that they need to be scholars or ace everything. All I need is for them to try their best, and we consistently strive for that.
9. How do you manage to juggle between motherhood and managing a business?
I think God has given me the ability to function even with not many hours of sleep on some days.
My husband always says it's amazing how I can continue to function during the day when he knows I haven't slept a lot the night before.
The sleep sacrificed is worth it because I'm ultimately growing my children, and the business is like our baby that we're growing as well.
It comes to a point where you have to figure out your non-negotiables and which days you need to spend with the children.
At the start of the week, I make sure to carve out time to get them ready for the week, whether it's helping with homework or spelling in school. It's a routine that I want to have with them. But it continues to evolve over time because as children grow, their schedules change, and priorities shift.
It's important to reflect and be flexible with plans.
Also, because we have a lot of support, we know that it takes a village to raise a child. We have two sets of very supportive grandparents who are here for the children and ready to support us. I honestly don't think we could do what we're doing now without their help.
10. And finally, do you have any advice for fellow mummies?
I don't think I will ever be a perfect mother to my children, but I know that I'm doing the best I can. That's my own affirmation.
Many mothers are very hard on themselves. There is a lot of noise from other people about what you should do and what is best for your baby. However, as the one taking care of your child, you know them best, even if you're not the main caregiver.
Show yourself some grace as a mother, because when you can show grace to yourself, you'll have the capacity to show grace to others.
Persevere and seek help and support when you need it. If you're alone in this journey, reach out for help. Asking for help is not embarrassing or shameful; in fact, it goes a long way in making things easier.