Stephanie, mother of 1
1. What is the most challenging thing you have experienced ever since you became a mum?
It’s definitely breastfeeding. You gotta keep yourself 24/7 ready whenever your baby needs you (for milk)!
Still trying to get the right balance to play around the clock and at the same time to live a normal life as before giving birth.
2. Do you have any words of encouragement for fellow mums?
Always be happy and think positively!
Try to embrace all the things that are happening in your beautiful motherhood journey. Don’t ever stress yourself, there’s always a way out! :)
Shermaine, mother of 1
1. What is the most challenging thing you have experienced ever since you became a mum?
The most challenging thing I have experienced since becoming a mum has been enduring 9 months of Hyperemesis Gravidarum (“HG”). I had HG since I found out about my pregnancy until baby Isla came into the world. For those who don’t know, HG consists of severe vomiting and nausea and affects less than 2% of pregnant women. There is no effective medication for HG.
I was vomiting at least 10 times a day from morning till night and whenever I was not vomiting, I was dealing with nausea. Due to HG, I was sick and mostly in bed throughout my pregnancy. The HG symptoms only finally went away after delivery and I now relate my story with a sense of humour.
I definitely came out feeling stronger from this experience and ready to embrace any other challenges that motherhood can throw at me.
2. Do you have any words of encouragement for fellow mums?
There is no try, there is only do.
As a new parent, everything will be initially intimidating with your little bundle of joy. From simple things you used to do like going out for dinner or even a walk around the neighbourhood to new things like changing a diaper or giving medication for the first time or clearing your baby’s nose. The goal is for you to get there and do it, there is no pass or fail, just do.
Alicia, 28 weeks pregnant and mother of 1
1. What is the most challenging thing you have experienced ever since you became a mum?
Trying to balance being with my daughter, running my own business, and finding some time for myself, my hubby, and my friends. There are only 24hrs in a day!
2. Do you have any words of encouragement for fellow mums?
Motherhood is one of the hardest things I have ever done. However, it is by far the most rewarding. Take it one day at a time, follow your instincts, and cherish every moment. Time flies too fast!
Tessa, mother of 1
What is the most challenging thing you have experienced in your motherhood journey?
It would be a lie to say I didn’t find the first few weeks of breastfeeding a real challenge. With engorged breasts, bleeding nipples, and a hungry little baby, the initial weeks were a struggle.
Thankfully though we persisted through those first couple of weeks and with a huge amount of support from my husband, a few visits from exceptionally helpful lactation consultants and some shields for my nipples in the form of Silverettes, breastfeeding has become one of my favourite parts of being a mum.
Do you have any encouraging words for the fellow mummies?
Try not to compare yourself to other people or get swept up in the swathes of unsolicited “you should be doing this” advice. Every mum, baby, and family is different. Do what works for you. You got this.
Ariel, mother of 1
What is the most challenging thing you have experienced in your motherhood journey?
It is the constant struggle with mum guilt.
"Why am I not producing enough milk?"
"Am I spending enough time with my baby?"
"What if my baby spends the night at my parents' and forgets about me?"
"Am I a bad mum for letting my son watch some TV so I can take a break from chasing him around the house?"
And the list goes on.
I never expected myself to struggle so much mentally because I was such an independent and motivated person prior to giving birth. I felt like I was more dependent on him (emotionally) rather than him being dependant on me. I wanted to provide everything I could for him and when I hit below my expectations, I would cry in the bathroom.
I would say I'm managing my emotions a whole lot better now. I managed to take a step back and acknowledge that I may not be the best in this motherhood thing, but I'm trying my best.
Do you have any encouraging words for the fellow mummies?
Mental health is so important. Every time a friend tells me they're expecting, I would tell them to prioritize their mental health - happy mummy, happy baby, happy husband, happy life!
Being a mother is one of the toughest jobs in the world simply because we can't just take a leave or even a medical leave anytime any day. But remember we are all in this together!
I came across this life hack: "If you find yourself lost one day, go to another mummy with a child, and you're likely to be safe."
Tricia, 29 weeks pregnant and mother of 1
What is the most challenging thing you have experienced ever since you found out that you are pregnant?
The most challenging thing was to balance life (work) and also to continue caring and chasing after my first kid (who was around 18m at that time) amidst my first trimester symptoms such as being very tired and indigestion etc. It was very overwhelming at the beginning as I was worried about how we were going to manage 2 kids without any live-in help. With my mum helping my sister who is due 3 weeks ahead of me, she coudn’t be with me, too. I was worried so much that I had a mini meltdown at 4 am in the morning one day, same as my daughter who was also having night terrors at the same time.
I guess it was the mental load, fear of the unknown and of change. But this meltdown prompted a proper discussion with my husband for me to share what I was feeling and going through. We’ve since discussed what the plan is to be, how we actually have a support network to lean on and that I am not alone.
Do you have any encouraging words for the fellow mummies?
Take one day and one step at a time and try not to think too far ahead because you don’t know what the future holds. Worrying too much would only further scare you and overwhelm you. It’s easier said than done, but really try to live in the present (or at least within the month) and as with life, things will actually sort themself out in the end. (:
jessie, 35 weeks pregnant
What is the most challenging thing you have experienced ever since you found out that you are pregnant?
This being my first pregnancy, I felt overwhelmed that there was so little I knew about the pregnancy journey and newborn care.
It was difficult to know what advice was grounded in scientific fact or best practices, and what was a cultural norm.
I invested a lot of time in the first two trimesters to educate myself by reading reputable books, attending online talks by experts and researching online, which really helped me understand what was happening to my body and about my baby's growth.
Getting my husband involved and on the same page has also given me more confidence that we'll be able to cope with the delivery and the different parenting stages ahead as a team.
Do you have any encouraging words for the fellow mummies?
Receive well-meaning advice from those around you with grace and openness, but ultimately don't hesitate to trust your instincts and do what works best for you. Everyone's personality and experience are unique, so don't sweat the small stuff and enjoy the journey!
Sarah, mother of 1
What is the most challenging thing you have experienced, ever since you became a mother?
Despite Google being an amazing tool, I fell into the trap of “over-Googling” every little thing at the beginning. Instead of getting answers, I ended up worrying and causing myself unnecessary stress. I fell into this cycle of worrying and then feeling guilty for worrying too much, when in reality my baby boy was happy and healthy.
Luckily, I have an amazing husband, my mum, and friends who are also mums who reminded me to step back, take a breath, and think about whether it’s really something I should worry about.
Do you have any encouraging words for the fellow mummies?
You are doing an amazing job. You are enough.
Having a support system is very important. Spend some time to check in with other mummies, especially new mums.
Lend an ear, pay them a compliment, or just drop a message to say hello! Don’t be afraid to ask for advice or rant when you need to. We must support one another through this journey of motherhood.
Rachel, mother of 1
What is the most challenging thing you have experienced ever since you became a mum?
Managing postnatal anxiety was the toughest challenge since delivery. The impression that I have lost control of my reality and that I am no longer the same person I used to be left me feeling incompetent and defeated.
Do you have any words of encouragement for fellow mothers?
Good days or bad days - let’s remind ourselves that we are enough. Recovery is a journey. You may not be where you want to be yet. But be proud that you are making progress!
And above all, choose to be happy, always.
Stefka, 34 weeks pregnant
What is the most challenging thing you have experienced, ever since you found out you are pregnant?
Since it is my first pregnancy, not knowing anything is most challenging. But then, I tried to educate myself by researching everything on Google, asking other people, and reading several books about pregnancy. But I ended up more confused than ever and stressed out.
I think the best way is to do everything in moderation, especially when it comes to receiving advice from other people.
I tried to filter every piece of information I received. And I adjusted it with my situation. Some advice is useful and some advice is not, because, everybody’s experiences during pregnancy are different.
Do you have any words of encouragement for fellow mummies?
Trust your body, trust your instinct and have faith that everything will go smoothly.
Instead of wasting time worrying and being stressed out, just enjoy the journey. Be confident with your beautiful belly and use the time to bond with the baby in your womb.
Isabel, 28 weeks pregnant
What is the biggest challenge in motherhood according to you?
I’ve really been struggling trying to figure out my identity as a soon-to-be mum. We live in a society that determines our worth based on our careers and other tangible achievements. I’ve been having a hard time working out how being a mum is going to fit into all these dreams and ambitions without compromising on the quality of upbringing for my baby.
Do you have any words of encouragement for fellow mummies?
I read something on the internet last week that really resounded with me. It said, “Remember that life is all about juggling and that some balls are made of plastic and some are made of glass”. We’re all managing 40-50 balls in the air at a time and it’s only inevitable that sometimes, no matter how hard you try, you drop a ball. The important bit is knowing when to drop the one that will bounce and otherwise be alright instead of the glass ball that will shatter.
Samantha, mother of 1
What is the most challenging thing you have experienced, ever since you became a mum?
That would definitely be juggling the different roles! To name a few, a wife, a mother, an employee, a cleaner, and even a chef! I’m sure many working moms can relate to this. Having to set aside time for the endless to-do list seems impossible. I was so torn between work and my responsibilities as a mother. I know I should be giving my 100% at work yet my heart just wants to stay by my child to nurture him and watch him grow. After months of contemplation, and the support of my very wonderful husband, I’ve made the decision to be a stay-at-home-mum ("SAHM"). At my age, it’s really uncommon but he is only little for so long and I believe I’ve found my purpose in life and that is to be a mother who can give all her time and attention. With that being said, I am grateful and glad.
Do you have any words of encouragement for the fellow mummies?
You will hear or come across advice from people around you, trying to teach you how to take care of your child or how to mother them. This is especially true for first-time moms who will Google every little thing that concerns their precious little baby. Take the advice with a pinch of salt! Ultimately, go with your motherly instincts! You will know what’s best for yourself and your baby. Just know that as women, we are made to do this. Our minds and body will be primed to nurture and develop them.
Rachel, mother of 1
What is the most challenging thing you have experienced, ever since you became a mum?
The most challenging thing about being a new mum is saying goodbye to time for yourself. You go from being an independent individual one day to a full time mum the next.
Do you have any words of encouragement for the fellow mummies?
The best advice I was given was to carve out some time for yourself each day. Even if all you can manage is a 10-minute morning meditation while hubby holds the baby before work, that’s enough. And it’s so important!
Also, don’t be afraid to take a moment to collect yourself before attending to your baby. You don’t need to jump to their every need. You need to be in the right state of mind to care for them. Be kind to yourself!
Anabel, mother of 1
What is the most challenging thing you have experienced, ever since you became a mum?
The love that I have for my baby also became the most challenging thing. The realization that I’m responsible for this tiny little fragile human being and me wanting to give her my best can be overwhelming. Some days I feel I’m not at my best - maybe it’s me getting distracted while feeding, or not changing her well enough, or when she’s crying and I don’t understand why. It’s a struggle between knowing I am not perfect and I will never be, and wanting to give her the world.
Do you have any words of encouragement for the fellow mummies?
Surround yourself with people who are supportive of your journey as a mother. Whether it’s through positive reinforcement, people you trust for advice, or a listening ear, babysitting, or any other support. Accept help even if you think they don’t do it as well as you do because it really does take a village to raise a child. And also, try your best to avoid consulting Dr. Google at every turn :)
Friska, 34 weeks pregnant and mother of 1
What is the most challenging thing you have experienced, ever since you became a mum?
In the first few months of motherhood, I felt like I have lost my identity. I had lived on my own away from my parents since I was 16. For years and years, I had independence. Then suddenly I am responsible for a tiny human being who is fully dependent on me 24/7. OK, I did have 9 months to mentally prepare myself. But planning it is so different from actually doing it! Earlier, I’d had freedom and pretty shoes. But now I was “just” someone’s mom covered in drool. I struggled with it, it was hard. It took me some time to process, to accept and let go of my pre-baby life. Today I’m glad to say that I have never felt happier in my life. I am not “just” someone’s mom. I am a mom and so darn proud of it!
Do you have any words of encouragement for the fellow mummies?
Motherhood can feel all-consuming. There are sunny days and dark deep-in-the-trenches days. I personally believe nobody has it all together all the time. So take comfort in knowing that you are not alone in your journey. Pick yourself up, hug your babies, make up and try again. Be kind to yourself and take care of yourself. We cannot give from an empty cup.
Ramona, 31 wks pregnant and mother of 1
What is the most challenging thing you have experienced ever since you became a mum?
Personally, for me, trying to meet everyone’s expectations of being a “good” mum gave me a lot of unnecessary pressure. The society has many different approaches to parenting, and I was overwhelmed with information and advice from those around me. In the end, I decided to drop all expectations and went with what felt best for my child and me.
I was also struggling with adjusting to being a stay home mum and often drowned in the daily chores on top of taking care of my daughter. Thankfully I had a strong support system of family and close friends who regularly checked in on me and readily offered their help, which tided me through the period. They are now my daughter’s favorite people, and I’m very grateful for that!
Do you have any words of encouragement for fellow mummies?
Please have a good support system, and be willing to accept help when you need it. It can be from family or friends or even from fellow mummies you know from mummy forums or community groups. Sound off to your support system when you feel like you’re not able to cope because keeping quiet will only cause unnecessary stress to you and your child. Take things one day at a time and know that this phase will pass. The days are long, but the years are short, hold your baby a little longer before they start running away from your embrace!
A mother can be both gentle yet strong at the same time. Don’t let anyone else make you second guess your capability as a mother. We are all learning in this journey of motherhood!
Nadine, mother of 1
What is the most challenging thing you have experienced ever since you became a mum?
I find the most challenging part when he cries, and nothing you do is comforting him. You feel like you can’t make his pain go away and feel very helpless.
Do you have any words of encouragement for fellow mummies?
We always think as a mummy, we should be the ones able to calm them down. However, babies sometimes cry, and there is nothing that can be done. It doesn’t mean we are a bad mum. Hold them and tell them we love them no matter what.
Winnie, mother of 1
What is the most challenging thing you have experienced ever since you became a mum?
There are too many challenges for a first time mum. For me, the most challenging thing has got to be breastfeeding. I knew nothing about breastfeeding and I struggled with the lack of sleep, learning how to latch the baby, not getting a right fit for the pump flange, the deadly 2hourly pump/latch, unsure if baby was even drinking enough milk, unable to resolve the constant engorgement/milk blisters which eventually led to mastitis.
To save my sanity, I went on to be an exclusive pump mum so others could feed the baby while I got some rest. Honestly I have spent countless nights trying to resolve engorgement with hand express when the pump doesn’t help. I felt lousy for spending more time with my pump and all these breast issues than caring for my baby. It was the most helpless feeling ever when I had to attend to my engorged breast first before attending my crying baby so that I could avoid getting mastitis which means even more trouble. Postpartum Depression hit me so naturally shortly after I was back home from the hospital.
Do you have any words of encouragement for fellow mummies?
You are stronger than you think! This really helped me persevere through motherhood - the nights are long but the years are short. Our babies will not be babies forever!
It is also important to make your husband your best teammate on this journey of parenthood. Also, don’t be afraid to ask for support whenever needed. It truly takes a village to raise a child.
When unsure/need a place to rant, seek advice from the mummies community. The courage I have gained from these experienced mums is enormous and it helps keep my(our) sanity checked.
Fiona, 28 weeks pregnant
What is the biggest challenge in motherhood according to you?
I’ve been so caught up with work that time has just flown by and I’m in my last trimester already. Work was a priority. So I had to pull late nights, only to feel very uncomfortable the next day. The last thing a new mum needs is to head towards caring for a newborn baby while being stressed and exhausted. I also missed the milestones each month and knowing the changes in my baby and my body.
Do you have any words of encouragement for fellow mummies?
Cherish every moment and appreciate every memory with the baby inside you. Always put yourself first. But also do things together with your baby. Do things for yourself and listen to your body. A ‘happy mum’ is the secret to a happy family and a happy baby.
Lynn, mother of 1
What is the biggest challenge in motherhood according to you?
The most challenging thing I've experienced ever since I became a mom is realising I am one of the not-so-lucky ones. I didn't have a village of support. In fact, I had almost no support at all till this day. My mother-in-law tried to help me as much as she could even though she was also dealing with 3 other grandkids.
I was basically on my own since Day 1. Clueless, helpless & depressed. (Plus still have to deal with insensitive people around me who made things even more difficult than it already is)
The learning curve is so steep for a new mom, I was pretty traumatised by the whole experience to be honest. My poor husband had to scramble to welcome our baby 4 weeks pre-mature + all the sleepless nights. Also, I've been a low supply mom since Day 1 as well, so that was pretty challenging to keep up.
Today, I am a stronger mom because of this experience.
What is the best advice you want to give to fellow mums?
Your baby doesn't care about what you buy, how much you can pump or how extravagant their parties are. Being present is the most important.
If you have a village of support, treasure it. If you don't, reach out for mummy support groups/form your own support group with mummies who have had similar experiences.
Detach from people who does not spark joy (even family) and focus on your own family. At the end of the day, no one else matters.
Jaclyn, mother of 3
What is the biggest challenge in motherhood according to you?
Being the perfect mom that everyone thinks I am. I let my kids eat fast food, I give them screen time when I need some peace and quiet, I take the easy way out sometimes. I drill them on academics, I enrol them in sports activities, I’m that tiger mom I swore I didn’t want to be.
Becoming a mom made me want to give only the best for my children, things I didn’t have the opportunity to some 30 years ago. No, I am not the perfect mom to most, but I know I’m perfect to my kids and that’s all that matters.
What is the best advice you want to give to fellow mums?
Take one tantrum, one obstacle, and one bad day at a time. Stay true to your mummy instincts, even in the face of multiple voices from the older generation.
Whenever you hear the words “last time..”, remember that last time policemen wore shorts.
Farah, 35 weeks pregnant
What is the biggest challenge in motherhood according to you?
I guess the most challenging thing is the emotional rollercoaster that comes with motherhood. One day you can feel like you’re the happiest person in the world and the next you can feel like whether you’re ready to be a mother.
Especially when it comes to the firstborn, there’s no practice run. You just end up accepting advice and guidance from parents, grandparents or even fellow mummies. And that’s where, at times, I may doubt myself, whether I’m ready. This is because of the fear of what will happen when the time comes. And doubting oneself can take a toll emotionally, which is why we as mummies need to be strong and have faith that everything will fall into place eventually.
What is the best advice you want to give to fellow mums?
Words of encouragement would be to just go with it! Appreciate every single moment of your pregnancy. You only have these 9 months to experience the baby’s little kicks, hiccups, and movements. It may be tiring or strenuous but you know it’s all gonna be worth it when you first see the baby.