MÈRE INSPO - eliza koo
says, “No mother should go through breastfeeding struggles alone like I did.”
From Breastfeeding Challenges to Triumph: Eliza's Journey as an International Board Certified Lactation Consultant
As we stepped into the warm embrace of Eliza's lush green home, we were greeted not only by her friendly smile but also by the playful antics of her cat “Muffin” and the gentle coos of her 2-month-old Caleb.
Eliza Koo, founder of Tender Loving Milk and a dedicated certified lactation consultant has undergone a remarkable transformation since embracing motherhood.
Her path was not without challenges, particularly when it came to breastfeeding. Yet, these challenges spurred her to seek knowledge and support, ultimately leading her to achieve the International Board Certified Lactation Consultant ("IBCLC") certification.
How did she manage to balance her role as a certified lactation consultant, three kids, and her commitment to guiding fellow mums on their breastfeeding journeys?
1. Congrats on your third-born Eliza! What’s your current state of mind?
Thank you! This is a good question. Like many mothers, I went through a rough start to my breastfeeding experience, even with my third child! Thankfully, all is good now, and my current state of mind is a holistic combination of bliss, blessedness, and an acceptance of the continuous learning journey as a mum.
2. How was your recent birth experience compared to the elder two?
I absolutely cherish the entire experience with my third baby, from labor, birth, and breastfeeding, because I was determined to have the experience I desired. My recent birthing experience was everything I had dreamt of since I was a teenager. Yes, I've always known I wanted to have children and be a mother since I was young.
The reason why this time was different from my first two pregnancies was because I decided to take control of building my birth team and plan. Simultaneously, I also wanted to get to know and trust my body more. I engaged a birth doula this time around and was very deliberate about the gynecologist I chose, ensuring they were open to having my doula with us in the labor ward.
What I loved were the breathing and visualization techniques whenever a contraction happened. The pushing was beautiful and instinctive, which surprised me as I chose to trust my body.
When I met my newborn, it was different from my first two experiences when I felt nothingness and confusion. This time around, I felt a peacefulness enveloping us and an aura of curiosity and love surrounding us. It was an absolute delight to be left alone with just my husband, myself, and our newborn to enjoy the stillness and quietness after delivery.
Because the birth was unmedicated, my newborn was alert and awake. He looked around and took his time resting on my chest. The Golden Hour was just as I had envisioned it. My birthing team respected my birth plan, allowing my baby to remain on my chest uninterrupted for at least one hour.
Eliza was wearing Lovemère Seamless Nursing Bra.
3. What makes you want to be a lactation consultant?
I love this question, and I'm excited to share where my journey began!
I gave birth to my second child at the height of COVID-19. Everyone was in an extended lockdown with me while I had my confinement. It was on April 21, 2020 - just after giving birth in the hospital ward, my husband and I switched on the television to hear the Prime Minister's announcement of the "Tightened Measures."
In my mind, I thought, "Might as well," because I didn't need to manage or entertain visitors in my house. Little did I know, that was the cause of my breastfeeding struggles - no visitors (read: lactation consultant) could come to my house to help me!
From the beginning, it was an unexpected roller coaster! I struggled with both oversupply and undersupply challenges. I was diagnosed with mastitis (an extremely painful inflammation of breast tissue) seven times within the first six months of my baby's life. That meant every three to four weeks, I'd be down with body aches, chills, a high fever, and painful breasts.
Each time it happened, I felt a sense of dread consuming my entire mental space. I would cry. I would feel lousy, useless, and defeated. Questions like why I was getting painful breasts every four weeks, why mastitis was coming back, how many rounds of antibiotics I needed to take, and how much more pain my body could endure would flood my mind.
Mastitis is known as the "milk killer." My milk supply was at an all-time low, and my baby had "brick dust" urine, which means concentrated urine crystals causing a reddish appearance in the diaper. Usually, this can be resolved by the baby drinking more milk, but my supply couldn't go up fast enough because I'd get mastitis again a few weeks later. It was a vicious cycle. I quickly realized that the confidence I had gained in breastfeeding the first time was nowhere to be found the second time.
Despite the challenges, the numerous benefits of breastfeeding kept me motivated to persevere. As pandemic restrictions eased, I had visits with two lactation consultants who educated me on various techniques and methods to improve my son's latch. However, it didn't entirely resolve my monthly mastitis episodes. It was during this time that my interest in mothers and their breastfeeding experiences began to develop.
While recovering from one of my mastitis episodes one fine morning and listlessly staring out of the window, an idea crept into my mind - "No mother should go through breastfeeding struggles alone like I did. I want to become an International Board Certified Lactation Consultant (IBCLC)!"
Eliza was wearing Dorset Active Nursing Bra.
4. Congrats on your recent IBCLC certification! How did you achieve this?
Thank you! It was tough initially because there wasn't clear guidance here in Singapore on how to pursue this path. I relied heavily on a US-based Facebook group for aspiring IBCLCs, supplemented with extensive research. There's also a small Singapore-based community Facebook group for those interested in becoming IBCLCs.
There are several steps to complete before one can apply to sit for the IBCLC examination, which is held twice a year. These steps include completing more than 10 health sciences courses. During the COVID lockdown, I dedicated most of my time to studying all the required health sciences courses.
Next, we had to accumulate 500 or 1000 clinical hours, depending on the pathway we chose. We were also required to complete at least 95 hours of formal lactation education. Once all of these prerequisites were achieved, we could apply for the examination.
The most challenging part for me was accruing clinical hours. I gave myself a year to accomplish this, while most people typically take around 3 to 5 years. I nearly experienced burnout. To manage, I created a timetable to balance my full-time job, parenting two children, and completing clinical hours while assisting breastfeeding families through text support, video calls, and breastfeeding workshops. It was demanding.
I'm grateful for the support I have at home, especially from my husband. He gave me the space to fulfill my lactation duties. I've talked about breastfeeding so much that even my 4-year-old daughter knows the steps to latch a baby!
5. What’s your most memorable experience during your home visits as a lactation consulrant?
My most memorable in-person lactation consultation experience would be my very first visit, which I did with a first-time mother when she was around 5 to 6 days postpartum. At that point, I had only conducted group workshops and virtual consultations, so I was a little nervous about how the in-person session would go. It was my first time doing a clinical assessment face to face. However, I decided to channel my nervousness into approaching the session with love and a full commitment to helping this new mother with her breastfeeding struggles.
Upon arrival, the lovely couple greeted me, and we sat down to discuss their breastfeeding experience over the past few days. She was also dealing with painful engorgement and had no desire to latch her baby at that point due to the discomfort. My heart ached for her, and she would tear up occasionally during the session. I held space for her and allowed her to be vulnerable. I continued with the session, teaching her techniques to ease her engorgement. When she cried again, I wanted to cry with her as well, but I held back and remained a professional and caring presence for her. I knew I had to be the reliable pillar of support for the couple.
After that emotional consultation, I sat in my car to take a moment. I needed to release all the emotions that had built up during the session. I teared up a little because what she was going through at that time triggered memories of my own experiences as a first-time mother back then. The early weeks can be an absolute whirlwind of overwhelming emotions, and I could empathize with this mother.
That's when I realized that working in a healthcare and clinical setting, managing our emotions is crucial as we aim to be the reliable professionals that mothers can count on.
Fortunately, I continued to have the opportunity to assist many mothers after that, and I remain humbled by their strength and perseverance.
6. Being a lactation consultant, has this role improved how you breastfeed your newborn?
Absolutely!
I was more aware of what to do to help successfully kickstart my breastfeeding journey right after my baby was born. From the Golden Hour to delaying the baby’s first bath, having my newborn room-in with us during the hospital stay, non-stop skin-to-skin contact during the first few days, and many more practices.
I was thankful that my knowledge in breastfeeding helped me independently with latching and positioning my newborn baby. I was dealing with sore nipples, and I knew what to do to treat them. However, the latch was still not optimal.
I was deep into the challenges of postpartum life, juggling post-delivery recovery, a range of emotions, and trying to care for my elder two kids. By the 8th day, I realized I needed help and a fresh perspective on what could be happening with the latch since my sore nipples weren't improving. I reached out to a senior fellow IBCLC for assistance.
It turned out that my son had a tongue tie, which explained many of the signs and symptoms I had observed but couldn't connect in the midst of postpartum chaos.
I was pretty hard on myself for not detecting it initially, but I felt better when I gave myself a break. In reality, I was experiencing it from a mother's perspective, and through the blurry postnatal lens, it's normal not to fully grasp things from a clinical standpoint.
I'm so glad I sought help, not just as a fellow lactation consultant but as a mother.
7. What's your affirmation for yourself, juggling between a full-time job, lactation consultant, and a mother of three now? How did you manage them all?
There is no magical secret to it. I may appear to be able to manage them all, but all I did was fully accept and allow myself to roll with the punches. Some days could deliver very strong and aggressive "punches," while others might bring light, joyful, and playful ones - if you get my drift.
Additionally, I learned to be more deliberate with my time between lactation consulting and spending time with my family. I made sure to block evenings and weekends to dedicate myself to my family. That, to me, is the best way to reward myself as a mother - deliberate quality time with my little ones.
I've also learned to love self-affirmations since preparing for my recent labor and childbirth. My doula printed affirmation cards for me to place around my house, and I still have them up after my baby was born. Because they are still so relatable, I have no intentions of taking them down just yet.
"I take time for myself."
"My baby feels my love."
"I am strong."
"My mind and body are relaxed."
"I trust my maternal instincts."
"It is okay to ask for help."
8. Finally, do you have any advice for fellow mums?
I would strongly encourage you to try surrendering and embracing the chaos of motherhood. Resisting your new motherhood identity is going to eat away at you from the inside. Personally, once I had that mindset shift, I felt lighter because motherhood can be unpredictable in a scary yet meaningful way. It's a mixture of ups and downs and an opportunity for personal growth – that's what makes us parents stronger each day.
Lastly, I always say this to the many mothers I've engaged and interacted with, as they share their thoughts, feelings, and experiences and are absolutely vulnerable with me, "You are your baby's entire universe. You're enough."